Episode: 1
(Technically not the pilot since The Simpsons were originally little sketches on the Tracey Ullman Show)
Spoilers:
School:
Elementary schools, apparently, have more than 5 grades
Homer complains of having to sit through all the other performances, when Bart and Lisa are only in the grades 4 and 2 respectively. "Ugh, how many grades does this school have?"
Some students are more capable than others.
A girl describing German Santa Claus is kind of awkward and nervous in explaining that tradition. But Lisa (also a second grader) does this really BADASS presenting "Tawanga, the Santa Claus of the South Seas". Dangerous, but BADASS. Bring on the flame!
Principals are not orators
I have two quotes:
1. "the fourth grade will now favor with a melody -- medley of holiday 'flavorites'."
2. "The fifth grade will now favor us with a scene from Charles, uh, Dickens' 'A Christmas Carol'."
Family:
When sending out Christmas cards, say the bad first than end with the good.
(No support here)
Take the sadness along with the gladness
While they may have lost Snowball, the Simpson family gained Snowball II.
Love your family even if they are stupid
"Lisa got straight A's and Bart- well, we love Bart."
"There's only one fat guy who brings us presents, and it's not Santa"
Moms love when their 10-year-old sons get tattoos at skeevy mall places.
Families are allowed to have weird traditions
(Father and Son at dog-racing stadium)
"Daddy can we open the presents now, Dad?"
"You know the tradition son, not 'til the eighth race"
Love:
Love someone even though your bitchy twin sisters don't like them
Instantly, I hated Patty and Selma in the way you're supposed to. Just ACCEPT THE FACT YOUR SISTER MARRIED SOMEONE FOR LOVE NOT LOOKS AND BE HAPPY FOR HER, OKAY?
You don't need a big speech when you bring home a pahpy (puppy)
Homer tried to say something deep and profound when he got home with Bart and then Bart said, "Hey everybody, we got a dog!" And then the moment was salvaged.
I get the feeling like there's something you haven't told me, Homer.
Huh? Oh, uh, I love you Marge
Homer, you tell me that all the time.
THAT IS SO SWEET AND JUST GAH
Yourself:
If you have long enough hair, you can keep a jar of money in it.
Life Goal #420
Life:
Life sure does like to fuck with you
"Thank God for the Christmas Jar" (After Homer doesn't get a Christmas bonus)
"Thank God for Homer's Christmas Bonus" (After Marge spends all the money on Bart's tattoo removal)
"If TV has taught me anything, it's that miracles always happen to poor kids on Christmas"
Money:
If you don't have any money, take your son to the dog racing track
Actually, this may not be the best advice... you may have a daughter.
This is my first official post for this blog. EEP OF EXCITEMENT!
Tell me what you guys think, like of the layout and if it's funny or not. I'm still trying to figure this out.
Thank you!
Owyn
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